A Hot Steamy Sex Post: Stealing Sexual Energy and Orgasm Addiction

Over here, Adam Elenbaas on the blog Reality Sandwich explains astrologically what might predispose someone to orgasm addiction. Astrologically speaking, I think I can distill the essence of his message down into two indicators–action and idealism/escapism, or Mars/Neptune. I think Mr. Elenbaas is spot-on in the message of the article, but I think there is an important distinction or two or three that he either glosses over or misses that I’m going to here outline.

Astrology and Sex

So Mr. Elenbaas identifies Neptune astrologically as a marker for orgasm addiction. Since Neptune is often a marker for any sort of addiction, this isn’t much of a stretch and I’m inclined to think he is right. On the other hand, I think other markers in the eighth house can predispose one to orgasm addiction. In fact, I think a loaded eighth house can predispose one to orgasm addiction to the point that it really doesn’t matter WHERE it comes from so long as it is obtained.  It isn’t entirely uncommon to see a loaded up eighth house where sexual liberties are taken to the extreme that one can pretty well toss out concepts such as sexual orientation. It doesn’t matter so much where the merge and transformation of orgasm comes from, so long as, if you’ll excuse the pun, that it comes.

Kundalini And Other Occult Junk

From the standpoint of Indian thought, kundalini is the energy which drives sex along with most all other spiritual experiences. This energy typically rests at the base of the spine. If one gets into advanced yoga techniques, the area at the base of the spine is tensed much like in sex in order to get the energy to rise. When a person “gets off” they are experiencing that energy momentarily surging through all of their chakras if they are lucky–but more commonly only a chakra or two. Kundalini, then, is one’s vital essence–what allows one to engage with life more fully or less fully.

Kundalini

Kundalini On Cam! I Should Charge for this!

Think Back

Now think back to the very first time you ever had sex. (If you’ve never had sex, that’s gonna be hard) It was very likely a very “intense” experience in that all the sensations were crisp and clear. One might attribute it to youth, or hormones. However, all that sexual energy was sitting there for however many years before it was released. It had been built up and cultivated such that when it WAS release, the reservoir was much larger than it is if it has only been a week since you last had sex. (Or five minutes ago for those intrepid among you) The point to be made is that the sex was memorable BECAUSE there was a backlog of energy.

Orgasm Addiction

Orgasm Addiction, then, is the compulsive release of this backlog of energy. That much Mr. Elenbaas covers. There is another reason to be addicted to sex–and that is to TAKE energy during sexual unity that should be shared. How does that work?

Yin, Yang

The majority of sex can be distilled down into people assuming various yin or yang modes. Yin is receptive–more passive, Yang is more energetic and active. Traditionally, the male holds the Yang energy whereas the female holds the Yin energy. This isn’t precisely so because each person has a Yin and Yang side, but predominately owing to gender will naturally hold that gender’s energy better. It is possible during sex to “borrow” the side of the person you are with such that you neglect developing that side in yourself. So, if you are male, and you have more Yang energy, you might “steal” the Yin energy of the woman you are with in order to feel like a “full person”. Reverse it for a woman. You will know when this happens because you will feel tired after sex in a less than satisfied way. After awhile, you won’t want to have sex with that person even though you might think you should “want” to. Your vitality has been “stolen” and nothing has been given “back” to you. It wasn’t a sharing so much as it was a stealing.

Why People Steal

Pretty often, people don’t know they are stealing. Very frequently some massive injury was perpetrated on those that steal such that someone “stole” from them when they shouldn’t have. Since that was how they experienced sex, they now “steal” from others because it’s the only way they know how to have sex. It’s easy to tell when someone is in steal mode, because they always go for the orgasm as the end. Which leads us to the cure…

Curing Sexual Stealing/Orgasm Addiction

If reaching FOR the orgasm is the problem, then the simple solution is to have sex without the GOAL being orgasm. This amounts to the tantric practices advocated by Mr. Elanbaas in the article. Why does this work? Because the orgasm for those who steal energy is the destination, when they no longer have that as the destination they have to learn to re-relate to sex. Likewise, for those addicted to the releasing of energy, it forces them to hold on to their vital essence. Hence, there is not a predator/prey dynamic because there cannot be. There cannot be a “release for the release” because that cannot be either. The focus instead is on the process rather than the outcome. Intimacy is probably going to be built in such a situation, or otherwise those who treasure the addiction more than the intimacy will find someone else to re-create the same dynamic with. Either way, the problem stops.

What Do YOU Think?

Ever been drained after having sex, and not in a good way? Ever get the feeling that even though your body should want sex, it just doesn’t? Comment away! Let’s hear some sexy talk!

 

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  • WarrenBeaty

    u wnt c 12inc

  • Casi121

    While reading the above article, I kept thinking about an article by Rabbi Shmuley I read a few years back on sex in marriage. He talks about The Kosher Sutra and it parallels some of what is discussed here. The last two paragraphs of this article sums it up (it is not the same article I read a while back… can’t find that one)—> http://www.shmuley.com/articles/details/the_kosher_sutra_recapturing_lost_sexual_desire/

    Anyhoo, yeah, I have felt drained in a not good way after ‘sex’. I remember one time having to tell the guy hey, they are ears NOT handles! Clearly we were not on the same page! I also remember what lead to the decline of my willingness to be open and vulnerable in my last relationship. There was a callousness and level of criticism that told me I was just a means to an end rather than part of the process. It was chilling and has left some baggage. :/

    On the flip side, while only twice that I remember, when I set out for just the physical release there was no magic, and I was left feeling cold and distanced from myself.

    • Joe Bill Schirtzinger

      Cool article, Cassi. Sorry I missed it earlier!