Venus Square Pluto: When Love Is Often Pain

Over at astrology unboxed, a pretty cool site on astrology, I got into a discussion about the relevance of the moon vs Venus in a natal chart and what that means about love. From the tropical system, my moon is in gemini. From a Vedic system, my moon is in taurus, but my Venus is in gemini. These facts are pertinent because of our ensuing discussion in the comments–she sees the moon as highly relevant to relationships, whereas in the Vedic system I see Venus being more relevant. Both perspectives are right. How?

In essence, the Vedic system is how your “spiritual self” might be seen, whereas the tropical system might be more how you “psychologically relate”. Nonetheless, it got me to thinking on a particular astrological combo that makes love burn like a swill of bleach–Venus square Pluto.

Venus square Pluto is a nasty combination because Venus is how you love, or what you love, whereas Pluto is desire or where you want to “merge”. Pluto is the desire to have sex, Venus is love. When there is a square between these two things, they do not “flow”. So, you might have sex without love, or love without sex, or you might have both love AND sex and the other person is only having sex–or perhaps a love triangle complete with a lot of jealousy and possessiveness.

a triangle

The Triangle: Good for Geometry--Bad for Romance

For me personally, I have a Venus in gemini, as stated. I do value communication. Talking is important. My moon in taurus likes stability and practicality. My Pluto, though, is in Virgo, squaring my Venus. This is excellent for analysis, but quite shitty for anything having to do with love. The words will be right, but the actions won’t. Or, the analysis will be right, but the words are all wrong. The words become misleading. Instinctively you value the words–but the square of Pluto makes it hard to parse them to make sure they are “right”. What people say and what they do don’t match. Then, Pluto makes it a mission to figure out why that is.

The lesson here is that sex is not love, and love is not necessarily sex. Very often, with this combo, there is a sense of “healer” and “patient”. Pluto comes in and wants to possess and transform Venus. Venus doesn’t really see it that way and is blinded with love goggles. Reality begins to set in later–when Venus wonders where the love was that it thought Pluto had.

These archetypes can be played out in a myriad of ways. If the square is mastered, then one can become quite good at attracting the right sorts of people–they know both the “dark side” and the “sensual side” and how to “straddle the two”. When not fully mastered, it may mean that a person learns when to use their power to bust out of something that isn’t advantageous to their growth–such as a love triangle or rhombus or whatever geometric figure describes the occasion.

The most “normal” manifestation of it follows thusly: Fall in love, think everything is okay, realize something is horribly wrong, break the connection out of necessity, mourn the loss. Be very sure to “let go”.

Everyone is free, but not everyone is free in quite the same way. The Venus square Pluto person is free–but usually they are free to happen into some situation that sucks. Master the square, win the game.

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  • Fabienne/Astrology Unboxed

    Hi Joe:

    Thanks for the mention. I do appreciate it. I am happy our discussion was inspiring. As for your article. I would say two things:
    1) I do not see Pluto as a “merging” planet. Merge is more a Neptune word rather than Plutonian. I believe Pluto is about death and rebirth and having a good look at your dirty little secrets, the ones you keep from yourself. Pluto wants to bring them to the surface, so you can deal with them and become a more self-aware person.
    2) As for the Venus-Pluto square, by progression the square will turn into a trine making easier for the person with this aspect to handle the difficulties inherent to Venus-Pluto.

    • Joe Bill Schirtzinger


      Good points. I view Pluto as more of a merge owing to its somewhat scorpionic influences a la the eighth house. Then, I agree with you–it is about death and rebirth (sex–what have you) and uncovering your dirty little secrets along the way. Neptune I see as more of a sacrificial dissolution–there is a merge there, but more in a Pisces way. Pluto merges with transformation in mind, Neptune merges with sacrifice in mind.

      I think that’s true on the progression–but the problem as I see it is that the natal chart tends to “stick” whereas the progressions tend to be somewhat uh, “luck based”. So you might have a trine and do well for a bit, but then the trine is gone and you fall back into “default” mode.

  • Blackempress knightwood

    I found this blog by searching Pluto-Venus too. I couldn’t resist posting & asking for advise regarding a relationship I have been in since more than a year now. The deal is we’re both heterosexual women, Rose is nearly 20 years older than I but when we’re together I seem to be the wiser one. The relationship started as a ‘Therapy’ but now after several meetings it’s coming to ‘mutual’ grounds. We have Pluto-Venus Synastry BOTH ways. My pluto trine her venus & Her Pluto Square my Venus. She has always been responsive but coldly unavailable & I had been the pursuer throughout. Now after nearly 1.5year she started realizing how much insight my presence gives her & she’s learning to be Open about herself for once.
    I being the Plutonian am literally obsessed with her & want her sexually (though I’ve never felt this way about any other woman). I try forgetting her but I can’t. Her sexuality (Mars in Leo, Sun Aries, Mars-Jupiter) literally wraps me without physical contact & it’s a cultural taboo for me to even think that I could get to make love with her.

    What should I be expecting further on if I play my cards right by being available when she wants me, giving her psychological transfomation & free expression?
    If VENUS ends the show, it should be me, but I’m afraid of losing her because I love her & wouldn’t want to end the relationship anytime even though it’s still fragile (barely 2 months of her beginning to express).

    She’s been happy in my company for the past few months but I’m not sure how she really feels about me. Our composite has venus in 12th & we both have Venus-Opp-Uranus in Synastry. :/

    Hints? Advise?